The debate rages on, as intense as ever, continuing down through the ages.
When fighting flies, do traps perform better than rolled up newspaper pages?
Traps, they come with instructions, the consumer must certainly read.
However, there is no clause within, to which the fly himself must heed.
A scientist said, “This aversion flies have for traps, can be summed up as thus.
It’s because flies are from Mars, and Fly Traps are from Venus.
The CEO for ACME Compass and Transit was in a mood most foul and dour.
He summoned to his office, the chief product officer, “Be here within the hour!”
Our competitors are offering products that have become in great demand.
It seems our product development team has its head buried in the sand.
We’ve been running in circles, lost as it were, its time for a course correction.
You’re fired, you’re out, I’ve hired a new guy, we’re going in a new direction.
Create an emergency preparedness plan.
Having an Emergency Preparedness Plan is prudent, practical and swell.
For the moment in which we need it, is a moment we can’t foretell.
My plan is a work in progress, a document that lives and breathes.
It’s safely stored in the refrigerator, between the baklava and Cheddar cheese.
Should disaster strike when I’m far from home and my plan remains safely there.
I’ll not be concerned, I have the first step memorized: I fall to my knees in prayer.
What profession do you admire most and why?
The profession I admire most and let me tell you why.
The well-rounded, just git’er done, universal, regular guy.
He can tell a joke, modify a street car and trap a bison for live-release.
He can repair most any broken thing by applying some elbow grease.
This profession is on the wane, its membership is in decline.
Don’t worry , the group’s international president can fix the problem without even trying.
The profession I admire most and let me tell you why.
The well-rounded, just git’er done, universal, ‘regular guy’.
He can tell a joke, modify a street car and trap a bison for live-release.
He can repair most any broken thing by applying some elbow grease.
This profession is somewhat on the wane, its membership is in decline.
But please no tears, the group’s international president can fix the problem without even trying.
I’m the guy:
In the group photo:
About me I’d say:
Others might say:
My mother would know me, she would say:
The police commissioner would know me, he would say,
I’m:
If there’s one thing you should know about me:
I’m an old chunk of coal, not much more than carbon.
In the making for millions of years, no harm have I done.
Made of ancient swap vegetation, much energy do I possess.
It is humankind, not ancient fossils, that have created a modern mess.
My formation relies on a process that is tried and true.
When the process is finished, I become of use to you.
Today I am held liable for phenomina, like global warming, oh what a shame.
I’m not the cause, those who abuse me, they are the ones to blame.
You say that I’m inanimate, just hydrocarbon, an old chunk of coal.
You fail to realize, I’m part of creation, without me the world is not whole.
Just as a body is no longer perfect when it looses one of its members.
So the earth suffers when I am reduced to ash, from once glowing embers.
I thrive and grow when I’m under extreme pressure.
The value I provide when fully formed is beyond measure.
To you, mere mortals, don’t become too cocksure.
Your race will meet demise, but coal shall ever endure.
How would you describe yourself to someone?
I’m not originally from here, I was born out of state, my parents aren’t from here too.
I am in good health, I’m a bit short for my weight, my favorite color is blue.
I’m third in the birth order, I can write in cursive, I’ve had the measles, mumps and the flu.
I do things when I get a round to it, my methods are tried and true.
I have a younger brother, born after me, of sisters we have two.
For me that’s about all there is, now tell me, what about you.
What would you change about modern society?
These times are marked by rapid technological advancement and globalization.
A rise in secularism and a focus on the individual, rather than the nation.
My recommendation to bring a change to modern society.
Let us count our blessings and become purveyors of propriety.
What are your future travel plans?
I’d like to visit Antarctica ‘cuz I hear the place is cool.
Then it’s off to visit Africa, home of the world’s largest gene pool.
I’d visit Mawsynram, India, which gets the greatest amount of rainfall.
Off to Atacama Desert in northern Chile, that receives no rain at all.
After all of this travel I am famished and I need a bit of a break.
To The City of Brotherly Love, for the world’s best Philly Cheesesteak!
The Ethereal Scupper 