There once was a Moose from Belvedere.
Fashioned himself a mountaineer.
Sans crampons and carabiniers,
With Granola Bars and freeze-dried wieners.
He went free and solo without fear.
Category: Uncategorized
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Truly Remarkable
Of all the great gifts I’ve scored.
There is one that I covet and hoard.
It’s not a Westminster clock.
Nor an antediluvian rock.
It’s the remarkable dry erase board.
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Cheesy Flick
The Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Association (WDFA), is producing a spoof on the major motion picture, “Home Alone.”
The premiss is, a young cheese wheel, named Kevin, is unintentionally left behind as his family leaves the dairy for a pilgrimage to the Gruyère region in the canton of Fribourg, Switzerland.
The name of the National Lampoon like spoof is: Provo-lone.
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Spring into action
I’d like to submit to congress a new bill.
But who shall take it up the hill?
It must be someone clever and bright,
Who knows “You can’t save daylight.”
It must be someone who loves a thrill.
Ah, comes to mind Punxsutawney Phil!
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Go Figure
Write about your first computer.
It came into our home, without fanfare or fuss.
It was a tool to be shared by all of us.
We could multiply, we could divide,
By moving the colored beads from side to side.
It was compact and mobile, that was a plus.
Our first computer was a five row abacus.
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On a Mission . . .
My mission, the work I’ve been called to, is simple, its unassuming, it’s clear.
It gives purpose and meaning to my life, it reminds me of why I’m here.
What I offer is a gift not originally mine, but rather that of a loving Savior.
This gift from a divine person, edifies and guides my human behavior.
As confident and courageous as a lion, yet gentle and soft as a dove.
This treasure to be shared is The Word of God, His Revelation, His Power, HIs Love.
The Word came down and fulfilled God’s will, then ascended back to His Father above.
The message I share, is not for a few, rather by God’s grace it’s meant for all.
Open your hearts, embrace God’s Word, say “Yes” when you hear the call.Let the power of The Word transform your life, your burdens The Lord will bear.
Believe what you receive, share what you believe, give freely what you share.
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Stick to it!
The river, it used to power a mill, in which corn was ground into grist.
The owner had a lucrative business, making money, hand over fist.
As years past by, demand declined, but the river flowed as before.
The mill owner called it quits, shuttered the place and locked up the door.
The river’s current was strong and swift, with the seasons it ebbed and flowed.
Just as the timeless current, life on the riverbank quickened and slowed.
One constant remained throughout the years, a presence that ever endured.
A colony of large, semiaquatic rodents, by their dam efforts a large pond was procured.
The beavers worked tirelessly to repair and maintain, not as drudgery, to them it was bliss.
They rolled up their sleeves, to overcome what may with the power of stick-to-itiveness.
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Auto Theft
For loss prevention of privately owned automobiles, we rely on aftermarket suppliers.
They provide technology to prevent the loss of car stereos, catalytic converters, wheels and tires.
Hats off for their efforts to prevent personal property loss and thwarting the actions of thieves.
However, when it comes to auto theft their approach is archaic; or so I believes.
Until now, the focus has not been on the cause, but rather it’s been upon the effect.
The personal property, for all its worth, we felt we must protect.
Let us not altogether forget about loss prevention.
However we should take up the cause of thief detention.
When those scaly-wags get too near the object of their desire,
They’ll trigger Electromagnetic Pulses of 1.1 Gigawatts from a multi-cavity klystron amplifier.
The electrical energy will singe their hair and set their breeches on fire.
Crooks will stand motionless, unable to twitch a muscle.
Law enforcement officers will apprehend the crooks without so much as a tussle.
The technology to employ these new tactics is coming into relevance.
This may cause crooks to abandon natural stupidity and take up artificial intelligence!
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They’re A-monk-st Us
Here is a burgeoning collection of Monk and Friar one-liners.*
Q: How does a fire brigade of Franciscans get to the scene of a burning building?
A: In a Friar-truck.
Q: What emergency evacuation procedure is the favorite for the men in a Dominican priory?
A:The Friar drill.
Q: What do you call a Franciscan with a PhD. in philosophy?
A: A deep Friar
Q: What do you call a Benedictine responsible for frying potatoes at a fish dinner?
A: The Chip Monk
Q: In case of fire, what exit do Dominicans use to evacuate the priory?
A: Friar Exit
Q: What do you call a globe, a fan and a Dominican?
A: Earth, Wind and Friar
Note: *Monks and friars are not the same; the main difference is their lifestyle and focus: monks live a cloistered, contemplative life in a monastery, dedicated to prayer and work in solitude (like Benedictines), while friars (“brothers”) belong to mendicant orders (like Franciscans, Dominicans) and are active in the world, serving people through preaching and charity. Both take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, but monks remain in one place, whereas friars travel to serve the community.
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Pet Peeves
Don’t get me started, don’t nag me please. Here is a list of my most petty pet peeves.
- I don’t like reading the fine print, don’t usually read it all. Most other times I’m clueless, I miss the handwriting on the wall.
- I can barely tolerate road construction, but what is a guy to do? The detours that they’ve posted are under construction too!
- Here’s one that really gets me, excuse me for being curt. I just can’t stand holes in the elbows of a long sleeve shirt.
- When I get the urge for a late night snack, off to the kitchen to grab a quick bite, or so I think. The refrigerator is bare, there’s nary a crumb, however dishes fill the sink.
- On the bright side, customer service at some retailers is something to which we can all aspire. For example, a local shop in these parts, gives free air with the purchase of each tire.
- The high winds of November in Michigan, another of my pet peeves. After the gales blow through town, I’m in my backyard raking my neighbor’s leaves.
- The postcard from Hawaii, said “Tell the kids we miss them. Wish they could be here too.” Grandpa’s immediate reply to Hawaii, “I’m checking flights now, I’ll be sending them to you!”
- What goes through the mind of a fast-food server, sometimes I really don’t know. When by myself, ordering 100 sliders the question they asked was, “Is this for here or to go?”
The Ethereal Scupper 