These days, it seems parents are seldom naming boys Lance.
That’s certainly the case at a preliminary, first glance.
I decided to research history’s pages.
Going back in time to the Middle Ages.
That era appears to be the sweet spot.
In those times boys were named Lancelot.
There once was a Moose from Decatur.
Won local recognition as a figure skater.
With a national title under his belt,
Destined for Olympic Gold, many felt.
Practiced quad-jumps in an elevator.
There once was a Moose from Belvedere.
Fashioned himself a mountaineer.
Sans crampons and carabiniers,
With Granola Bars and freeze-dried wieners.
He went free and solo without fear.
Of all the great gifts I’ve scored.
There is one that I covet and hoard.
It’s not a Westminster clock.
Nor an antediluvian rock.
It’s the remarkable dry erase board.
The Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Association (WDFA), is producing a spoof on the major motion picture, “Home Alone.”
The premiss is, a young cheese wheel, named Kevin, is unintentionally left behind as his family leaves the dairy for a pilgrimage to the Gruyère region in the canton of Fribourg, Switzerland.
The name of the National Lampoon like spoof is: Provo-lone.
I’d like to submit to congress a new bill.
But who shall take it up the hill?
It must be someone clever and bright,
Who knows “You can’t save daylight.”
It must be someone who loves a thrill.
Ah, comes to mind Punxsutawney Phil!
Write about your first computer.
It came into our home, without fanfare or fuss.
It was a tool to be shared by all of us.
We could multiply, we could divide,
By moving the colored beads from side to side.
It was compact and mobile, that was a plus.
Our first computer was a five row abacus.
My mission, the work I’ve been called to, is simple, its unassuming, it’s clear.
It gives purpose and meaning to my life, it reminds me of why I’m here.
What I offer is a gift not originally mine, but rather that of a loving Savior.
This gift from a divine person, edifies and guides my human behavior.
As confident and courageous as a lion, yet gentle and soft as a dove.
This treasure to be shared is The Word of God, His Revelation, His Power, HIs Love.
The Word came down and fulfilled God’s will, then ascended back to His Father above.
The message I share, is not for a few, rather by God’s grace it’s meant for all.
Open your hearts, embrace God’s Word, say “Yes” when you hear the call.
Let the power of The Word transform your life, your burdens The Lord will bear.
Believe what you receive, share what you believe, give freely what you share.
The river, it used to power a mill, in which corn was ground into grist.
The owner had a lucrative business, making money, hand over fist.
As years past by, demand declined, but the river flowed as before.
The mill owner called it quits, shuttered the place and locked up the door.
The river’s current was strong and swift, with the seasons it ebbed and flowed.
Just as the timeless current, life on the riverbank quickened and slowed.
One constant remained throughout the years, a presence that ever endured.
A colony of large, semiaquatic rodents, by their dam efforts a large pond was procured.
The beavers worked tirelessly to repair and maintain, not as drudgery, to them it was bliss.
They rolled up their sleeves, to overcome what may with the power of stick-to-itiveness.
For loss prevention of privately owned automobiles, we rely on aftermarket suppliers.
They provide technology to prevent the loss of car stereos, catalytic converters, wheels and tires.
Hats off for their efforts to prevent personal property loss and thwarting the actions of thieves.
However, when it comes to auto theft their approach is archaic; or so I believes.
Until now, the focus has not been on the cause, but rather it’s been upon the effect.
The personal property, for all its worth, we felt we must protect.
Let us not altogether forget about loss prevention.
However we should take up the cause of thief detention.
When those scaly-wags get too near the object of their desire,
They’ll trigger Electromagnetic Pulses of 1.1 Gigawatts from a multi-cavity klystron amplifier.
The electrical energy will singe their hair and set their breeches on fire.
Crooks will stand motionless, unable to twitch a muscle.
Law enforcement officers will apprehend the crooks without so much as a tussle.
The technology to employ these new tactics is coming into relevance.
This may cause crooks to abandon natural stupidity and take up artificial intelligence!
The Ethereal Scupper 