Category: Uncategorized

Why did God instruct Noah to build the ark of gopher wood and bitumen and pitch instead of steel?

Noah had no ark-welder!!

Obligation unfulfilled drives me of its own relentless volition.
It propels my thoughts, controls my emotions,  influencing my condition.

When embraced, obligation concedes, my faculties it no longer possesses. 
Conviction is mine, desire reigns, commitment my soul now caresses. 

Freedom now visits, I act on God's will, pleasing the Lord as I should. 
Joy now abounds, my soul rejoices, I know what I've done is good.

 

If I could choose a man to ride the river with, I’d pick him every time.

An advocate for common sense, when common sense is practically dying.

Dependable, trustworthy, a quick study and fast on his feet.

When sizing up opponents, he’s shrewd, wise and discreet.

He’ll cut through all the fodder, cut right to the chase. 

It’s about pursuing truth, not about saving face. 

Those he leads, he encourages,  taking them under his wing. 

Shielding them from chaos and every nefarious thing. 

As a beloved son of God he knows the spirit that dwells in men.

When he looks at others he realizes they are God’s children. 

When it’s all over and done, and we reach the pearly gates, 

I’ll tell St. Peter, “Let him in, he’s led many through dire straits.”

There was a Moose from the Isle of Coney.

Fraudulently nominated for a Tony.

Bread dressing stuffed in a pork chop.

The show was set in a butcher shop.

The whole thing a ‘bunch of bologna’.

No matter what I do Lord, no matter the degree to which I try. Even with you as my example, for others I cannot deny myself and die. I measure and I count. I weigh and I calculate. To give up what I think I own, is a sacrifice much too great. I cling to that which is transitory, things that pass away. Show me Lord, that all I need is given by you each day. I need not gather, nor collect more than one day’s need. Going beyond what You provide, is the pathway to excess and greed! What you give to me is not mine, it is given to be given away. The love you give in the breaking of bread is meant to be shared . . . each day.

The oldest things I’m wearing are the wrinkles upon my face.

I’ve washed, I’ve dried and I’ve ironed them, they seem to hold their place.

Mainly I’ve always had them and I guess I always will.

I’m guessing if I was a duck, I’d have them on my bill.

You know things could be better, things could also be much worse.

I’d rather walk around with wrinkles, than have a permanent-press smile, riding in a hearse.

Two rather young looking women walk into a bar. Due to the youthful glow about them, the bartender immediately walks over to them and says, “Ladies it appears neither of you is of legal age to consume alcohol. I must ask to see your state issued identification.

After reviewing the Id’s the bartender remarks, “It’s truly amazing, both of you look no older than a day over sixteen, yet you are of legal drinking age.” He goes on to ask, “How is it that women of your age can look so young?”

One of the women says, “It’s due to our professions. We have served so long that we have come to look like our clientele.”

“Oh really?”, says the bartender. “What kind of work do you do?”

The first woman says, “I am a child psychologist with over 15 years of experience.”

The second woman adds, “I am an adolescent behavioral clinician, with nearly 20 years of experience.”

The bartender exclaims, “Truly your demeanor defies your age. I am honored to take your order, what may I serve you?”

The child psychologist says, “We are waiting for another colleague to join us, please come back when he arrives.”

The bartender asks, “How will I know it is him when he arrives?”

The woman answers, “Oh you won’t be able to miss him. He’s a geriatric colorectal surgeon with 25 years of experience.”

Did you ever think about the words we use to construct what it is that we say?

We choose the words, then sequence them in a rather particular way.

The words in a phrase can change its meaning, if shuffled or conjugated.

Having the effect to diminish impact, or conversely make it overrated.

In the example that follows the verbs do a switch, you might say a virtual about face:

“Is that man racing for a train – or – is he training for a race?”

The following phrase you may have heard, while hanging out in a cabana.

“Time flies like an arrow . . . Fruit flies like a banana.“

One sentence’s verb, in another, transforms to become a noun.

Certainly not a practice upon which one should readily frown.

Choosing words sometimes seems laborious, but there are times when it’s rather fun.

Let us now consider wordplay that employs double-meaning, the pun.

• “I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger… then it hit me.”
• “I’m inclined to be laid back.”
• “I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.”

I bring to an end this babble, with an oxymoron, without defiance.

Grab a jumbo shrimp and enjoy the deafening sound of silence!!

There was a young Parisian Police Cadet, long, long ago. 

Despite bumbling escapades, we saw his career grow.

Competence he seldom demonstrated,

Yet to a lofty position he was elevated.

 We know him as Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau .

He was successful through accidental luck.

His superiors were often thunderstruck. 

To the highest level of incompetence he did grow. 

Firmly settling in on Peter’s Plateau.