Category: Uncategorized

  • Dad Joke Alert

    There I was, driving home from work, traveling the usual hilly, tree-lined route.

    Suddenly appearing in front of me, a car, from a hidden driveway it came out. 

    I braked real hard, honked my horn, in anger I shook my fist. 

    The other driver was unconcerned, my antics he dismissed. 

    In my mind I was thinking what kind of guy is this, some kind of career politician? 

    Then he turned his car into a driveway; obviously he’s a trained magician. 

  • You say Buffalo, I say Bison

    Buffalo and Bison are often confused, not of themselves, by human beings. 

    Asian water buffalo are employed in agriculture, rather than mechanical machines. 

    The Bison is native to the grasslands, to the Great Plains in the USA. 

    Buffalo  prefer the savannas in sub-Saharan Africa, far away.

    Here is one of the craziest beliefs, it’s of the wildest things.

    People in North America think that Buffalo actually have wings.  

     

  • Yes we scan

    On the sterns of warships from Sweden, Denmark, and Norway,

    The Admiralty ordered a QR code be on display.

    A rather curious command, for what use could it possibly be?

    For commercial use it made sense, not for ships going out to sea. 

    They guaranteed it was based on reason, not just a passing whim. 

    By this practice, when ships return, port authorities will Scandinavian. 

     

  • Re-Up

     

    Let us take a moment to consider a term coming anew. 

    This is only meant to give our minds something on which to chew. 

    The continual regrowth of epithelial cells is regeneration. 

    Activities to refresh the body and mind are recreation. 

    Pumping gas into a car is refueling. 

    What comes next may incite linguistic dueling. 

    I propose a new term, perhaps a bit jolting.

    Charging the battery in an EV will be revolting.

     

     

  • A Mechanic by Any Other Name

    When a car with an internal combustion engine was in need of some expert care,

    The owner took it to an auto shop, for proper diagnosis and rapid repair.

    The vehicle operator could get a bit unsettled and enter into a panic. 

    Feeling as though be was going to see his surgeon, not an ASE Certified Auto Mechanic. 

    Fossil fuel burning cars are on their way out, and so is the auto technician. 

    Electric Vehicle owners will forego the mechanic and visit an auto electrician.

     

     

     

     

  • TV shows I watched when                         I was a kid

    TV shows I watched when I was a kid

     

    When a young lad, broadcast TV was in it’s heyday. 

    Everything was managed in a very controlled way. 

    Rules and regulations, governed what you could say. 

    There was a start and an end to the broadcast day. 

    The programming was wholesome and rather tame. 

    Consider shows like Gunsmoke and Wagon Train. 

    Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie,  Mannix, The Andy Griffith Show. 

    Not to mention Dragnet, Gilligan’s Island and Hawaii Five-0.

    The Munsters, Get Smart and Dark Shadows.

    The Avengers, Petticoat Junction and Hogan’s Heroes.

    To be honest and with all kidding aside,

    Programming like that caused us to play outside. 

  • Words of Contention Are Flying

    Words of Contention Are Flying

    The debate rages on, as intense as ever, continuing down through the ages. 

    When fighting flies, do  traps perform better than rolled up newspaper pages?

    Traps, they come with instructions, the consumer must certainly read.

    However, there is no clause within, to which the fly himself must heed. 

    A scientist said, “This aversion flies have for traps, can be summed up as thus. 

    It’s because flies are from Mars, and Fly Traps are from Venus. 

  • One way or another . . .

    One way or another . . .

    The CEO for ACME Compass and Transit was in a mood most foul and dour. 

    He summoned to his office, the chief product officer, “Be here within the hour!” 

    Our competitors are offering products that have become in great demand. 

     It seems our product development team has its head buried in the sand. 

    We’ve been running in circles, lost as it were, its time for a course correction. 

    You’re fired,  you’re out, I’ve hired a new guy, we’re going in a new direction. 

  • A Cool Plan

    Create an emergency preparedness plan.

    Having an Emergency Preparedness Plan is prudent, practical and swell.

    For the moment in which we need it, is a moment we can’t foretell.

    My plan is a work in progress, a document that lives and breathes.

    It’s safely stored in the refrigerator, between the baklava and Cheddar cheese.

    Should disaster strike when I’m far from home and my plan remains safely there.

    I’ll not be concerned, I have the first step memorized: I fall to my knees in prayer.

  • Members needed . . .

    What profession do you admire most and why?

    The profession I admire most and let me tell you why.

    The well-rounded, just git’er done, universal, regular guy.

    He can tell a joke, modify a street car and trap a bison for live-release.

    He can repair most any broken thing by applying some elbow grease.

    This profession is on the wane, its membership is in decline. 

    Don’t worry , the group’s international president can fix the problem without even trying.