There once was an aardvark from France.
He had an aversion to eating ants.
Possessed with a strong wish,
to never eat shellfish.
His proteins were based on plants.
Author: NDExile
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Raise one up!
There was a man from East Gatwick.
A devotee of the Day of St. Patrick.
When the Day falls on Monday,
Party too on Saturday and Sunday.
Thus an Irish Hat Trick!
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Sherlock Moose
There was an astute Moose from Duluth.
Preferred his Manhattans sans vermouth.
Offering services generated by AI,
With associated fees extremely high,
He marketed himself as a cultured sleuth.
What’s a Moose to Do?
There once was a moose from Duluth.
Plagued with a cavity in one tooth.
Should he visit a dentist?
Or a mason’s apprentice?
How ‘bout the girl at the kissing booth?
Are You Done?
There once was a Moose from Cheyenne.
Spent hours daily working on his tan.
Then off to the gym
To stay fit and slim.
For breakfast he eats Oat Bran.
It’s True, Right?
There once was a Moose from Duluth.
Professing a relative moral truth.
My ways are true,
Yours can be too.
Those who disagree are uncouth.
A Recluse Moose
There once was a Moose from Duluth.
Known to be a bit of a recluse.
He lived in a vacant dairy.
Not haunted but a bit scary.
He serves his guests Beetle-juice.
Don’t Laugh at This Moose
There once was a Moose from Dunkirk.
Desiring to do his own dental work.
Advanced skills he developed well,
Performing his own root canal.
Laughing gas drove him berserk.
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The Prayers of a Loving Mother
Your dear mother is no longer here, she’s following Our Lord to her new home. Once she’s there and settled in, she’ll look down from heaven’s dome.
In her earthly life, with all her strength, she cared for her family through prayer. The Lord was kind and generous, none of His graces did he spare.
From here on earth her prayers, they seemed to do quite well.
Up in heaven, so near the Lord, you should expect more than one can tell.Now in the Lord’s presence, she’ll pray for your each and every need. Your prayers are her prayers and on your behalf she will intercede.
Jesus loves His mother, He loves your mother too.
I imagine Him saying, “Yes” to what she’ll ask of Him to do.Your mother hasn’t yet stopped the work she started here on earth. She cared for you each day of your life, from the moment of your birth.
Keep her in mind, keep her in your heart and don’t ever feel alone. Remain confident in her prays and love, she’ll be praying until you’re home.
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Radical Standardization
This new approach has many shocked and surprised.
There’s a long explanation, here it’s summarized.
Days of free activists are coming to an end.
One-off solutions are no one’s friend
Radicals will now be standardized.
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Sign Up, Signed Up
Was planned an event for practitioners of conjugation.
The venue was to be in some exotic location.
The invitations were sent.
Seems like the effort was ill-spent.
No one registered during registration.
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Inspired to do
Inspiration comes from where she wills, comes from where she may.
Striking like a bolt in the deep night, wafting like a breeze at midday.
When she comes, its with a purpose, she remains to see it through.
Its as though my thoughts are at her whim, her will becomes mine too.
Then as she came, she goes away, Inspiration has fled from me.
My thoughts are mine, my will is too, again I’m purpose free.
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A Bit of Nonsense
He ain’t heavy
An impromptu fix is a work-around.
Sixteen ounces is 1 lb.
Say it one way or another,
My mother’s other son is my brother.
Now that is most profound.
A head above
There is a manufacturer in Nantucket,
“Never ship by rail, I always truck it.”
He’s a practical man.
A member of the MacDonnell clan.
Instead of walking into a bar, he’ll duck it.
Dress for success
There once was a man named Lance.
Seemed quite ordinary at first glance.
The mission he sought,
Was to be knighted Lancelot.
Anything to wear chain mail pants.
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Adoration Inspiration
There He hangs upon that cross,
my small pleasures became His great loss.
I indulged in every vice and whim,
yet all the opprobrium was loaded on Him.
By the blood of His stripes He healed and saved me.
Now He offers me a share in His glorious victory.
I’m confident that when I take my last breath,
He’ll raise me to new life, leaving behind eternal death.
Wonder struck, I gaze upon the Lord, yet one thing puzzles me.
I can see the wounds, but not the nails, that hold Him to that tree.
Mocked, ridiculed, profaned and scorned by those he came to save.
He opened not his mouth, remaining silent to the grave.
He intercedes for His persecutors,
praying to His Father in Heaven
above.
Then I come to understand, he was
Held to that cross not by nails,
But by His own selfless love.
Had he left that cross, with its pain and
suffering, to pursue His own free will.
I would have had to bear my transgressions
and without redemption, die upon that hill.
Here I sit with a chance once more,
Renewed and cleansed of sin.
All Because He’s conquered death, opening
Heaven’s gates to let me in.
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Just one more day of football
We know when the week ends and we know when the week starts.We seem to break it down, not evenly, but rather, arbitrarily in two unequal parts.
The work week has five days, now that hardly seems fair.
The much deserving weekend, two days, a measly, simple pair.
To ameliorate this great injustice, a simple solution I’ll propose.
Let us move Wednesday after Friday (and before Saturday, I suppose).
The work week will have four days, the weekend now has three.
Still not exactly equivalent, but moving towards parity.
Here is a more balanced arrangement between the number of days off and days on.
Would tailgating each day of a three day weekend become a triathlon?
I suppose that it could, I believe that it will, I presume that it probably might.
But the solution here is easy, have autonomous vehicles drive you home at night.
The Ethereal Scupper 