I wanted a change of some kind.
Trade in my quartz watch for a self-wind?
Exchange my Cathode Ray Tube TV
and get the latest with QLED?
On second thought I’ll just change my mind.
Author: NDExile
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An Account of Saving
I went to visit Sunbank, just the other night.
Going to see my assets, my account of saved daylight.
The teller, she informed me, “You have a zero amount.”
The daylight I was saving was not in my account.
“This is a great dilemma, what a terrible plight!”
Then said the teller, “Open a new account to get a free flashlight.”
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What, me change?
Change is all around us.
It comes from where it may.
Changes come during the night time,
And sometimes during the day.
We change our mind,
We change our heart.
We change when we end.
and change when we start.
A woman marries a man, hoping he will change. But he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman, hoping she won’t change, but she does.
Sometimes we change for the better,
Sometimes we change for the worse.
Sometimes change is a blessing.
Sometimes change is a curse.
But the changes that are most frightening, those causing my skin to crawl.
Are the changes that are announced to be, “a change you won’t notice at all.”
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Just like cats and dogs
Our Irish Setter prefers marinara on rotini,
With sautéed yellow squash and zucchini.
Our Persian cat, on the other hand,
is finicky and will demand,
There be Alfredo on the Fettuccine!
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Think Outside the Socks
There was a lad from West Lout.
Mother made him keep his shoes out.
“On your feet they’ll drag dirt in.
I’ll have to clean all over again.”
Won’t I eventually drag the dirt out?
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Do You Have a Return Policy
The heart transplant went flawlessly, you would have guessed.
The surgeon’s work left many very impressed.
For the patient’s part,
He had a change of heart.
But came in for an X-ray of his chest.
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Not Your Father’s Retreads
Developed a tire with stainless steel tread.
Available in colors blue, green or red.
High marks for customer satisfaction.
Really slick when it comes to traction.
They’ll look great in any flowerbed.
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You say “Bitter”, I say, “Better”
Twas an entrepreneur from Anchor Bay.
Desired a high I.B.U. in his IPA.
He spared no expense I must confide,
Negotiating price on the higher side.
To the chagrin of his CPA.
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Clean Bill of Sale
There was a car owner on Oak Street.
Wanted a car cleaned meticulously, complete.
When finished with their gyrations,
The experts exceeded expectations.
Providing a detailed receipt.
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I Salute You!
Our homeland has changed, things are different, it’s not the same as before.
Leaders today serve themselves, there is interest in the people no more.
I swore to protect and defend our constitution, from enemies within and without.
I promised to obey the orders of the president and the officers appointed over me; I did so with no doubt.
Serving under leaders that I didn’t choose, is what, by oath I said I’d do.
I wasn’t just defending the constitution, I was protecting our way of life too.
At the start of each day, in days now long gone, when Ol’ Glory was run up the flagpole,
I saluted the flag and prayed to God, “Please keep our nation undivided and whole.”
I didn’t see the president or the officers when I honored the Red, White and Blue.
What I saw was my family, my friends and the thankful ones like you.
By your gratitude I’ve been blessed beyond hope, exceeding all human measure.
Your appreciation, your kind words, your thanks, are a veteran’s greatest treasure.
You thank me for what I’ve done. I thank you for what you do.
To keep our nation great requires a lot more people like YOU!
The Ethereal Scupper 