The oldest things I’m wearing are the wrinkles upon my face.
I’ve washed, I’ve dried and I’ve ironed them, they seem to hold their place.
Mainly I’ve always had them and I guess I always will.
I’m guessing if I was a duck, I’d have them on my bill.
You know things could be better, things could also be much worse.
I’d rather walk around with wrinkles, than have a permanent-press smile, riding in a hearse.
Two rather young looking women walk into a bar. Due to the youthful glow about them, the bartender immediately walks over to them and says, “Ladies it appears neither of you is of legal age to consume alcohol. I must ask to see your state issued identification.
After reviewing the Id’s the bartender remarks, “It’s truly amazing, both of you look no older than a day over sixteen, yet you are of legal drinking age.” He goes on to ask, “How is it that women of your age can look so young?”
One of the women says, “It’s due to our professions. We have served so long that we have come to look like our clientele.”
“Oh really?”, says the bartender. “What kind of work do you do?”
The first woman says, “I am a child psychologist with over 15 years of experience.”
The second woman adds, “I am an adolescent behavioral clinician, with nearly 20 years of experience.”
The bartender exclaims, “Truly your demeanor defies your age. I am honored to take your order, what may I serve you?”
The child psychologist says, “We are waiting for another colleague to join us, please come back when he arrives.”
The bartender asks, “How will I know it is him when he arrives?”
The woman answers, “Oh you won’t be able to miss him. He’s a geriatric colorectal surgeon with 25 years of experience.”
We know when the week ends and we know when the week starts.
We seem to break it down, not evenly, but rather, arbitrarily in two unequal parts.
The work week has five days, now that hardly seems fair.
The much deserving weekend, two days, a measly, simple pair.
To try to set right this great injustice, a simple solution I’ll propose.
Let us move Wednesday after Friday (and before Saturday, I suppose).
The work week will have four days, the weekend now has three.
Still not exactly equivalent, but moving towards parity.
There is a more balanced arrangement between the number of days off and days on.
However, now the question becomes, “Will this affect Prime delivery by Amazon?”
I suppose that it could, I believe that will, I presume that it probably might.
But the solution here is easy, have autonomous vehicles deliver at night.
Did you ever think about the words we use to construct what it is that we say?
We choose the words, then sequence them in a rather particular way.
The words in a phrase can change its meaning, if shuffled or conjugated.
Having the effect to diminish impact, or conversely make it overrated.
In the example that follows the verbs do a switch, you might say a virtual about face:
“Is that man racing for a train – or – is he training for a race?”
The following phrase you may have heard, while hanging out in a cabana.
“Time flies like an arrow . . . Fruit flies like a banana.“
One sentence’s verb, in another, transforms to become a noun.
Certainly not a practice upon which one should readily frown.
Choosing words sometimes seems laborious, but there are times when it’s rather fun.
Let us now consider wordplay that employs double-meaning, the pun.
I bring to an end this babble, with an oxymoron, without defiance.
Grab a jumbo shrimp and enjoy the deafening sound of silence!!
There was a young Parisian Police Cadet, long, long ago.
Despite bumbling escapades, we saw his career grow.
Competence he seldom demonstrated,
Yet to a lofty position he was elevated.
We know him as Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau .
He was successful through accidental luck.
His superiors were often thunderstruck.
To the highest level of incompetence he did grow.
Firmly settling in on Peter’s Plateau.
Consider what I am about to say, please listen objectively.
Let us discourse on the phenomenon known as Sunk Cost Fallacy.
Some argue it is the definition of insanity, “can you imagine mature adults,
Doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results.”
This occurrence is categorized as a systematic error in thinking, a cognitive bias, some might say.
It ignores future utility in favor of justifying the expenditures we made yesterday.
It is frequently classified as irrational behavior, the actions of one gone mad.
My father’s generation aptly phrased it,”throwing good money after bad.”
There was a young man from Racine.
An avid fan of Steve McQueen.
Movies Bullitt and Nevada Smith;
He was thoroughly enthralled with.
‘King of Cool’ was the scene.
There was a young man from Fargo,
Wondering, “How far can an EV car go?”
Leaving home in the morning,
Under a thunderstorm warning,
A lightening strike launched him into Ohio!!
There was a young ghoul from Dunkirk,
His lactose craving drove him berserk.
He heard it in a dream,
“Go visit the ‘Scary Queen’.”
Ate a Sundae on his way to work.
The Ethereal Scupper 