There once was an aardvark from France.
He had an aversion to eating ants.
Possessed with a strong wish,
to never eat shellfish.
His proteins were based on plants.
Category: Limericks
Top level category for limericks
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Raise one up!
There was a man from East Gatwick.
A devotee of the Day of St. Patrick.
When the Day falls on Monday,
Party too on Saturday and Sunday.
Thus an Irish Hat Trick!
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Sherlock Moose
There was an astute Moose from Duluth.
Preferred his Manhattans sans vermouth.
Offering services generated by AI,
With associated fees extremely high,
He marketed himself as a cultured sleuth.
What’s a Moose to Do?
There once was a moose from Duluth.
Plagued with a cavity in one tooth.
Should he visit a dentist?
Or a mason’s apprentice?
How ‘bout the girl at the kissing booth?
Are You Done?
There once was a Moose from Cheyenne.
Spent hours daily working on his tan.
Then off to the gym
To stay fit and slim.
For breakfast he eats Oat Bran.
It’s True, Right?
There once was a Moose from Duluth.
Professing a relative moral truth.
My ways are true,
Yours can be too.
Those who disagree are uncouth.
A Recluse Moose
There once was a Moose from Duluth.
Known to be a bit of a recluse.
He lived in a vacant dairy.
Not haunted but a bit scary.
He serves his guests Beetle-juice.
Don’t Laugh at This Moose
There once was a Moose from Dunkirk.
Desiring to do his own dental work.
Advanced skills he developed well,
Performing his own root canal.
Laughing gas drove him berserk.
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Radical Standardization
This new approach has many shocked and surprised.
There’s a long explanation, here it’s summarized.
Days of free activists are coming to an end.
One-off solutions are no one’s friend
Radicals will now be standardized.
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A Bit of Nonsense
He ain’t heavy
An impromptu fix is a work-around.
Sixteen ounces is 1 lb.
Say it one way or another,
My mother’s other son is my brother.
Now that is most profound.
A head above
There is a manufacturer in Nantucket,
“Never ship by rail, I always truck it.”
He’s a practical man.
A member of the MacDonnell clan.
Instead of walking into a bar, he’ll duck it.
Dress for success
There once was a man named Lance.
Seemed quite ordinary at first glance.
The mission he sought,
Was to be knighted Lancelot.
Anything to wear chain mail pants.
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Mobster Imposter
There was a seasoned Sicilian mobster.
He preferred Mediterranean scallops to lobster.
Desiring service most fast,
He had his meals DoorDash-ed.
Was he a mob boss imposter?
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Education on the high seas
There once was a young lad from Sattahip.
A deckhand aboard merchants on many a trip.
He dreamed of a world-class education.
Far-fetched for a swabbie’s renumeration.
If only he could serve aboard a scholar-ship.
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WHERE DO YOU WORK?
There was a young man from Perth.
Worked remotely since the day of his birth.
He toiled, they say
From a new place each day.
He could work from anywhere on earth.
The Ethereal Scupper 