Create an emergency preparedness plan.
Having an Emergency Preparedness Plan is prudent, practical and swell.
For the moment in which we need it, is a moment we can’t foretell.
My plan is a work in progress, a document that lives and breathes.
It’s safely stored in the refrigerator, between the baklava and Cheddar cheese.
Should disaster strike when I’m far from home and my plan remains safely there.
I’ll not be concerned, I have the first step memorized: I fall to my knees in prayer.
What profession do you admire most and why?
The profession I admire most and let me tell you why.
The well-rounded, just git’er done, universal, regular guy.
He can tell a joke, modify a street car and trap a bison for live-release.
He can repair most any broken thing by applying some elbow grease.
This profession is on the wane, its membership is in decline.
Don’t worry , the group’s international president can fix the problem without even trying.
The profession I admire most and let me tell you why.
The well-rounded, just git’er done, universal, ‘regular guy’.
He can tell a joke, modify a street car and trap a bison for live-release.
He can repair most any broken thing by applying some elbow grease.
This profession is somewhat on the wane, its membership is in decline.
But please no tears, the group’s international president can fix the problem without even trying.
I’m the guy:
In the group photo:
About me I’d say:
Others might say:
My mother would know me, she would say:
The police commissioner would know me, he would say,
I’m:
If there’s one thing you should know about me:
I’m an old chunk of coal, not much more than carbon.
In the making for millions of years, no harm have I done.
Made of ancient swap vegetation, much energy do I possess.
It is humankind, not ancient fossils, that have created a modern mess.
My formation relies on a process that is tried and true.
When the process is finished, I become of use to you.
Today I am held liable for phenomina, like global warming, oh what a shame.
I’m not the cause, those who abuse me, they are the ones to blame.
You say that I’m inanimate, just hydrocarbon, an old chunk of coal.
You fail to realize, I’m part of creation, without me the world is not whole.
Just as a body is no longer perfect when it looses one of its members.
So the earth suffers when I am reduced to ash, from once glowing embers.
I thrive and grow when I’m under extreme pressure.
The value I provide when fully formed is beyond measure.
To you, mere mortals, don’t become too cocksure.
Your race will meet demise, but coal shall ever endure.
How would you describe yourself to someone?
I’m not originally from here, I was born out of state, my parents aren’t from here too.
I am in good health, I’m a bit short for my weight, my favorite color is blue.
I’m third in the birth order, I can write in cursive, I’ve had the measles, mumps and the flu.
I do things when I get a round to it, my methods are tried and true.
I have a younger brother, born after me, of sisters we have two.
For me that’s about all there is, now tell me, what about you.
There was a Paleontologist who dined on scrod.
For his contributions to science let us applaud.
His research was focused on fossilized feces.
It was thus he discovered a new sub-species.
The timid, plant eating, Prosauropod.
There was an old farmer, John Spears.
An NCAA Basketball fan for 65 years.
Who are the best players you’ve seen?
Who is your favorite basketball team?
Said John, “Indiana, whose yers?”
There was a middle-aged Moose in Texarkana.
Not one for a handkerchief, but wore a bandana.
Didn’t want to haggle price on a new car,
Besides the dealership was too far.
He chose home delivery from Carvana.
There was an electrical engineer, really bright.
Developed a gizmo to aid vision at night.
Translucent, in the shape of a bud vase.
With inert chemicals in an H2O base.
The user just adds an electro-light.
The Ethereal Scupper 