Author: NDExile

  • It’s all about me

    How would you describe yourself to someone?

    I’m not originally from here, I was born out of state, my parents aren’t from here too.

    I am in good health, I’m a bit short for my weight, my favorite color is blue.

    I’m third in the birth order, I can write in cursive, I’ve had the measles, mumps and the flu.

    I do things when I get a round to it, my methods are tried and true.

    I have a younger brother, born after me, of sisters we have two.

    For me that’s about all there is, now tell me, what about you.

  • If I could restore a dinosaur

    If I could restore a dinosaur

    There was a Paleontologist who dined on scrod.

    For his contributions to science let us applaud.

    His research was focused on fossilized feces.

    It was thus he discovered a new sub-species. 

    The timid, plant eating, Prosauropod. 

  • A Fan for the Ages

    A Fan for the Ages

    There was an old farmer, John Spears.  

    An NCAA Basketball fan for 65 years. 

    Who are the best players you’ve seen?

    Who is your favorite basketball team?

    Said John, “Indiana, whose yers?”

  • Moose Got Wheels

    Moose Got Wheels

    There was a middle-aged Moose in Texarkana. 

    Not one for a handkerchief, but wore a bandana. 

    Didn’t want to haggle price on a new car,

    Besides the dealership was too far. 

    He chose home delivery from Carvana. 

  • Bright Idea

    Bright Idea

    There was an electrical engineer, really bright. 

    Developed a gizmo to aid vision at night. 

    Translucent, in the shape of a bud vase. 

    With inert chemicals in an H2O base.

    The user just adds an electro-light.

  • Got Change?

    What would you change about modern society?

    These times are marked by rapid technological advancement and globalization.

    A rise in secularism and a focus on the individual, rather than the nation.

    My recommendation to bring a change to modern society.

    Let us count our blessings and become purveyors of propriety.

  • Next Stop . . .

    What are your future travel plans?

    I’d like to visit Antarctica ‘cuz I hear the place is cool.

    Then it’s off to visit Africa, home of the world’s largest gene pool.

    I’d visit Mawsynram, India, which gets the greatest amount of rainfall.

    Off to Atacama Desert in northern Chile, that receives no rain at all.

    After all of this travel I am famished and I need a bit of a break.

    To The City of Brotherly Love, for the world’s best Philly Cheesesteak!

  • A shoulder to eat on

    A shoulder to eat on

    Comes to mind is my favorite dish, a true epicurean delight.

    Not ingredients merely thrown together, the process makes it right.  

    The journey begins at the butcher shop, in search of a choice pork butt. 

    After perusing what’s in the display case, I choose the most, bestest cut. 

    Then off to the Eastern Market, in search of spices bold and fresh. 

    I manage to gather together what makes my dry rub, simply the best. 

    I return home laden with the treasure of my arduous trek.

    Taking a moment, I pause for a bit, on my day I do reflect. 

    During this respite I am reminded, why I chose to prepare this dish. 

    It’s for those who most deeply know me, I know it’s their deepest wish. 

    The dry rub is on the pork butt, into the refrigerator it goes, for the night.

    The process of slow cooking meat, begins hours before day’s first light. 

    Two hours before sun up, while all the others toss, turn, and continue to sleep.

    The pit master is up caring for the coals, as though a Sheppard after his sheep. 

    Coals for the cooking, coals for the smoke, each require a subtle touch. 

    If one is not careful in tending them, either of the coals can become too much. 

    So it is, with great care, the pork is introduced to the environ of this cooker of low-heat.

    The pit master is a true maven of techniques proven to turn pork shoulders into tender, melty meat. 

    The next several hours unfold, as though choreographed, well in advance. 

    It’s the work of a skilled pit master, moving with purpose, nothing left to chance. 

    And so the skilled movement continues and slowly draws to an end. 

    The pork shoulder now is tender and fit to present to a friend. 

    The pork is pulled, the slaw is dressed, the sauce is rendered sublime. 

    The lemonade is poured, the corn bread is cut, now come and let us dine. 

  • Burning Desire

    Burning Desire

    There once was a Moose from Bozeman. 

    Applied to the volunteer fire brigade, they chose him.

    He can’t climb a latter.

    Oh, that’s no lofty matter. 

    He’s the #2 hose-man. 

  • Time to Unwind

    Which activities make you lose track of time?

    There are many things that I like, for which I take great care. 

    One activity that heightens my interest is pocket-watch repair. 

    The crown, knurled and knob-like is more than a pretty thing.

    He sets the time, moving the hands, and winds the mainspring. 

    The mainspring stores the energy that drives the precision gear train.

    The balance wheel oscillates, defining time intervals, as though the watch’s brain.

    For me the work is subliminal, yet the watch commits a crime. 

    Though I give freely, that watch robs me of my time.