I went to the city council meeting, they had one just the other day.
I was fired up, I was all about it, I had me something to say.
“Mr. Council President, to manage traffic there’s more than one approach.
But the way we do it now, was used for horse and coach.”
“Seems the lights at a certain intersection are causing great delay.”
Said he, “Mr. Citizen, we’ll handle this directly,
in a most roundabout way.”
List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.
When it comes to certainty, I find myself ambivalent on many topics.
However I am certain the temperate zone is located above the tropics.
When it comes to marine life, my knowledge begins to pale.
However I am certain a guppy is much smaller than a whale.
When I consider the earth’s density, from pole to pole,
I am quite certain it is much less dense than a black hole.
Regarding the intellect of the average, American sixth grader,
It may surpass that of many a celebrity, but not that of Darth Vader.
Should a regional power outage leave New Jersey void of light or spark,
I am unequivocally certain Bruce Springsteen would be dancing in the dark
If a text message says, “Respond to receive a beard trimming and a free jar of jam.”
Most certainly, I am sure, that it is a bald faced scam.
Given the prospect of a road trip with destinations of various variety,
I know for sure the EV car operator will suffer from range anxiety.
Should a restauranteur open a place on the dark side of the moon,
The menu might be great, but without atmosphere, he’d be outta business soon.
When it comes to sporting venues, I know with all my soul,
No matter where I sit in Warsaw, I’ll always sit behind a Pole.
Now this I know for sure, without the slightest doubt,
Three called strikes and the umpire calls the batter out!
Now there you have it, the things of which I’m most certain.
Come back tomorrow, to see the man behind the curtain.
The Ethereal Scupper 