There once was a Moose from Belvedere.
Fashioned himself a mountaineer.
Sans crampons and carabiniers,
With Granola Bars and freeze-dried wieners.
He went free and solo without fear.
Author: NDExile
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Truly Remarkable
Of all the great gifts I’ve scored.
There is one that I covet and hoard.
It’s not a Westminster clock.
Nor an antediluvian rock.
It’s the remarkable dry erase board.
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Cheesy Flick
The Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Association (WDFA), is producing a spoof on the major motion picture, “Home Alone.”
The premiss is, a young cheese wheel, named Kevin, is unintentionally left behind as his family leaves the dairy for a pilgrimage to the Gruyère region in the canton of Fribourg, Switzerland.
The name of the National Lampoon like spoof is: Provo-lone.
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Spring into action
I’d like to submit to congress a new bill.
But who shall take it up the hill?
It must be someone clever and bright,
Who knows “You can’t save daylight.”
It must be someone who loves a thrill.
Ah, comes to mind Punxsutawney Phil!
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Go Figure
Write about your first computer.
It came into our home, without fanfare or fuss.
It was a tool to be shared by all of us.
We could multiply, we could divide,
By moving the colored beads from side to side.
It was compact and mobile, that was a plus.
Our first computer was a five row abacus.
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Be Blessed
Blessed are those, guided through life,
by the Good Shepherd’s staff and rod.
The pure of heart, they are the peacemakers,
called the sons of God.
Let the unyielding then wrangle and quarrel,
about earthly and temporal things.
They demand outlandish privilege,
posturing as though they were kings.
The lowly, with no means beyond
the name given them at their birth.
They are humble. They are meek.
They are blessed. They shall inherit the earth.
Some say that, mourning is sorrow,
for the loss of what is held most dear.
Let them weep at loss of material wealth,
their reward, enjoyed while here.
Who mourns the loss of a precious life,
will add to his heavenly reward.
All the while here on earth,
blessed and comforted by The Lord.
The master who is demanding,
exacting the last tittle of a servant’s strength.
He shall in turn, receive from the Lord,
due treatment in time and length.
The one who knows his great debt to The Lord,
understands forgiveness by grace.
He foregoes receiving what is rightly his,
offering mercy in it’s place.
Be pure of heart, make peace in the world,
be merciful and be meek.
For this is the character of The Good Shepherd
and those He calls His sheep.
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On a Mission . . .
My mission, the work I’ve been called to, is simple, its unassuming, it’s clear.
It gives purpose and meaning to my life, it reminds me of why I’m here.
What I offer is a gift not originally mine, but rather that of a loving Savior.
This gift from a divine person, edifies and guides my human behavior.
As confident and courageous as a lion, yet gentle and soft as a dove.
This treasure to be shared is The Word of God, His Revelation, His Power, HIs Love.
The Word came down and fulfilled God’s will, then ascended back to His Father above.
The message I share, is not for a few, rather by God’s grace it’s meant for all.
Open your hearts, embrace God’s Word, say “Yes” when you hear the call.Let the power of The Word transform your life, your burdens The Lord will bear.
Believe what you receive, share what you believe, give freely what you share.
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Stick to it!
The river, it used to power a mill, in which corn was ground into grist.
The owner had a lucrative business, making money, hand over fist.
As years past by, demand declined, but the river flowed as before.
The mill owner called it quits, shuttered the place and locked up the door.
The river’s current was strong and swift, with the seasons it ebbed and flowed.
Just as the timeless current, life on the riverbank quickened and slowed.
One constant remained throughout the years, a presence that ever endured.
A colony of large, semiaquatic rodents, by their dam efforts a large pond was procured.
The beavers worked tirelessly to repair and maintain, not as drudgery, to them it was bliss.
They rolled up their sleeves, to overcome what may with the power of stick-to-itiveness.
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Auto Theft
For loss prevention of privately owned automobiles, we rely on aftermarket suppliers.
They provide technology to prevent the loss of car stereos, catalytic converters, wheels and tires.
Hats off for their efforts to prevent personal property loss and thwarting the actions of thieves.
However, when it comes to auto theft their approach is archaic; or so I believes.
Until now, the focus has not been on the cause, but rather it’s been upon the effect.
The personal property, for all its worth, we felt we must protect.
Let us not altogether forget about loss prevention.
However we should take up the cause of thief detention.
When those scaly-wags get too near the object of their desire,
They’ll trigger Electromagnetic Pulses of 1.1 Gigawatts from a multi-cavity klystron amplifier.
The electrical energy will singe their hair and set their breeches on fire.
Crooks will stand motionless, unable to twitch a muscle.
Law enforcement officers will apprehend the crooks without so much as a tussle.
The technology to employ these new tactics is coming into relevance.
This may cause crooks to abandon natural stupidity and take up artificial intelligence!
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They’re A-monk-st Us
Here is a burgeoning collection of Monk and Friar one-liners.*
Q: How does a fire brigade of Franciscans get to the scene of a burning building?
A: In a Friar-truck.
Q: What emergency evacuation procedure is the favorite for the men in a Dominican priory?
A:The Friar drill.
Q: What do you call a Franciscan with a PhD. in philosophy?
A: A deep Friar
Q: What do you call a Benedictine responsible for frying potatoes at a fish dinner?
A: The Chip Monk
Q: In case of fire, what exit do Dominicans use to evacuate the priory?
A: Friar Exit
Q: What do you call a globe, a fan and a Dominican?
A: Earth, Wind and Friar
Note: *Monks and friars are not the same; the main difference is their lifestyle and focus: monks live a cloistered, contemplative life in a monastery, dedicated to prayer and work in solitude (like Benedictines), while friars (“brothers”) belong to mendicant orders (like Franciscans, Dominicans) and are active in the world, serving people through preaching and charity. Both take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, but monks remain in one place, whereas friars travel to serve the community.
The Ethereal Scupper 