The Ethereal Scupper

Author: NDExile

  • You say, a tire. I say attire.

    Illustration of cyclists shopping and training with text: “Before I leave, before you go, there is one thing of which I must inquire. Isn’t the difference between a nude unicyclist and a well dressed bicyclist, simply attire?”

    The bicycle is a versatile platform, used as a conveyance or as a means for losing weight.

    Pedal to the grocery store with your list, then put the items on the back in a crate. 

     The approach to exercise is counterintuitive, to common sense it seems rather contrary. 

    For the bicycle itself doesn’t move at all, in fact it remains stationary. 

    The cyclist pedals his tail off, yet he advances forward, not.

    He can’t even turn around, should something be at home, that he forgot. 

    Before I leave, before you go, there is one thing of which I must inquire. 

    Isn’t the difference between a nude unicyclist and a well dressed bicyclist, simply attire/a tire?

  • Ecumenical Dating

    Two friends talking on steps outside a brick church
    Two friends share a lively conversation while walking up the church steps.

    A sixteen year old Lutheran boy met his Catholic girlfriend at the local coffee shop. 

    Together they would continue to a prayer service at her parish church. 

    When asked what prayers would be said, she responded, “We are going to pray the Rosary.”

    The boy then declared, “I will have to leave the prayer service early. I must be home in time for dinner.” She said, “What do you mean, it is only 1 pm now.”

    His reply, “I’ve heard that the Rosary is said over the course of five decades. I just can’t be absent from home for 50 years!”

  • Online Web Design

    What’s the best online course you’ve ever taken?

    View all responses
    Person writing in a notebook beside a tablet, tea, and headphones

    An arachnid from the town of Kline,

    Had a deep passion for web design. 

    Sharing this fervor was a great yearning.

    He developed a curriculum for distance learning. 

    Spiders now study spinning and weaving, online.  

  • Highs and Lows of Adventure

    What’s a country that’s at the top of your bucket list?

    Metal bucket labeled Bucket List with six travel destinations
    The Short List

    My bucket list is rather short.

    The bucket isn’t very tall.

    But right there at the top,

    The nation of Nepal.

    “Aim high”, is what I’ve alway heard.

    Off to Mt. Everest I’d go.

    To acclimate to the altitude,

    I’d start off rather slow.

    With a Sherpa guide leading the way,

    I’d follow with bucket list in hand.

    As we attained Everest’s summit,

    I’d have just one demand.

    “Let us descend from this place,

    most expediently; as quickly as can be.”

    Up next on my list is West Asia,

    to visit the shoreline along the Dead Sea!”

  • On a Leash

    If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?

    When you observe a human being walking a dog on a leash and cleaning up after the animal, which creature appears to be of the higher order?

    Who’s in charge?

  • It’s What I Do!

    What’s the most underrated life skill?

    View all responses

    Unpack a 10″ tall, twin size air mattress. 

    Set box aside.

    Fully inflate the air mattress. 

    After 3 days, deflate the air mattress. 

    Fold the air mattress so it fits perfectly back into the box.

  • Did someone say ‘Treat’?

    What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?

    Treat every serious situation with the proper level of humor.

  • Child of God!

    Jesus standing and speaking to his disciples on rocky terrain at sunset
    Jesus imparts wisdom to his disciples in a serene landscape at sunset.

    As we journey through life, we react to our environment. the seen and unseen world. We perform acts that often add to our brokenness and our frailties. This becomes an undesirable means to isolate us and enslave us to ourselves. Often we use this brokenness and frailty to calculate our ‘self-worth’. Hardly a flattering result. With it we create an identity of ‘who we are not’. 

    Far removed from our brokenness, beyond y our human frailty lies the human heart, the center of our consciousness, and the seat of our intellect. Found here is the imprint of the divine; the image and likeness of our creator, residing here are goodness and truth. God values each one of us so greatly, sending His only Son to die for us. Based on this He has calculated our ‘human dignity’. The result is always stellar. Even the angels are envious of us. Nothing ever can diminish its infinite price. It defines ‘who we are’.

    Forget about ‘self-worth’ and its enslaving effect. Forget about ‘who you are not’. Rather embrace ‘human dignity’ and its liberating result. Realize what you possess; great beauty defined by a good and truthful heart. Realize who you are. You are a Child of God!

  • Boatswain’s Irate!

    Comic gondolier shouting, “YOU’RE NOT PAYING ME TO LISTEN TO YOUR YAPPING! SIT DOWN AND SHUT IT!” while passengers react in a Venetian canal; speech bubble says, “Mamma mia, such rudeness!”

     There was an annoying gondolier from Venice. 

    Looked upon by the community as a menace. 

    Will his character pass to the next generation?

    Could it influence those in every nation?

    I hope he doesn’t have an apprentice. 

  • Detroit Tiger Fans Listen Up

    Tiger mascot in Detroit Lions uniform holding a baseball bat at Fifth Third Park
    A tiger mascot in a Detroit Lions uniform prepares to bat at Fifth Third Park.

    Longevity of the current name for the Tiger’s home is rather stark .

    A new moniker then should appeal to logic and hit the mark.

    The name should be in lowest terms, mathematicaly speaking, 

    This then is the name that I’m seeking: 

    One and Two-Thirds Park!